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Moab -- A Religious Experience
Welcome, brother and sister Bikers. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be your
teacher for today's Moab worship. We'll commence this service with an
inspirational reading of scripture -- yes, real scriptures -- from the Old Testament.
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Isaiah 15:5 My heart shall cry out for Moab...
(If it's been a few months since your last Moab
outing, you know this feeling: your heart cries
for sandstone and sunshine!) |
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Isaiah 16:4 Let mine outcasts dwell with thee, Moab...
(Moab is the place to go when you're feeling frustrated, unloved, or
abused. Hit the rock and work it out!) |
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Numbers 22:21 And Balaam rose up in the morning,
and saddled his ass
(onto his bike seat), and
went with the princes of Moab.
(Group rides are always more fun.) |
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Jeremiah 48:41 ...And the mighty men's hearts in Moab at that day shall be as the heart
of a woman in her pangs.
(Another way of saying "I was so scared that I screamed like a
woman.” No place like Moab to give you that feeling.) |
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Numbers 33:49 And they pitched by Jordan,
from Beth-jesimoth even unto Abel-shittim in
the
plains of Moab.
(”Pitched” is an archaic term for “Endo.”
Abel-shittim may refer to another type of "accident.") |
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Judges 3:30 So Moab was subdued that day under the hand of Israel.
(Israel was a really good rider. Ever felt that you've conquered the
mountain? Yeah, kickin-A in Moab!) |
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Numbers 22:1 And the children of Israel set forward,
and pitched in the plains of Moab...
(Israel’s kids weren't very good riders. But if
you're not bleeding, you weren't trying hard enough!) |
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Jeremiah 48:40 ...Behold, he shall fly as an eagle, and shall
spread his wings over Moab.
(This verse refers to catching gnarly air. Take flight on adrenaline
wings!) |
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That concludes our scripture reading.
We will now partake of the sacramental Gatorade and Cliff Bar. Then we'll
adjourn to begin a pilgrimage to Moab.
Amen.
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